September 06, 2007
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New stories have been added to the Mark Twain section! Visit our Mark Twain page to check out the new additions.
A ball player’s blue and pugnacious;
A conductor can cuss,
A stage driver is wuss,
But as for a sailor---good gracious!
In these days of uncertain waist-line, it is as difficult for a woman to tell how high up on her back to pin her skirt, as for a bald-headed man to know where to stop washing his face.
“Come up and join the army of the Lord, sister!”
“I have already joined.”
“Where did you join?”
“I joined the Baptist Church.”
“Lordy, sister, that ain’t the army! That’s the navy!”
Tom: “Why don’t you marry that girl? She is a real pearl.”
Jack: “Because I don’t like mother-of-pearl.”