|A was an apt Alligator,|
Who wanted to be a head-waiter;
He said, "I opine
In that field I could shine,
Because I am such a good skater.”
|B was a beggarly Bear,|
Who carefully curled his front hair;
He said, "I would buy
A red-spotted tie,
But I haven't a penny to spare."
|C was a cool Chimpanzee,|
Who went to an afternoon tea.
When they said, "Will you take
A caraway cake?"
He greedily took twenty-three!
|D was a diligent Doe,|
In summer she shovelled the snow ;
In the spring and the fall
She did nothing at all,
And in winter the grass she would mow.
|E was an erudite Ermine,|
Who tried very hard to determine
If he should earn a cent,
How it ought to be spent,
And decided to purchase a sermon.
|F was a fussy Flamingo,|
Who remarked to his family, "By jingo!
I think I would go
To that animal show,
But they all talk such barbarous lingo."
|G was a giddy Gazelle,|
Who never could learn how to spell;
But she managed to pass
To the head of her class,
Because she did fractions so well.
|H was a haughty young Hawk,|
Who affected society talk;
But when introduced
At a large chicken roost
He excitedly screamed out, "Oh, Lawk!”
|I was an idle Iguana,|
Who lived upon curried banana;
With tears he'd protest
That he never could rest
Till he learned to sing "Eileen Alanna."
|J was a jimp Jaguar,|
Who purchased a Spanish guitar;
He played popular airs
At fetes and at fairs,
And down at the Fancy Bazaar.
|K was a kind Kangaroo,|
Whose bonnet was always askew;
So they asked her to wait
While they put it on straight
And fastened it firmly with glue.
|L was a lachrymose Leopard,|
Who ate up twelve sheep and a shepherd,
But the real reason why
He continued to cry
Was his food was so lavishly peppered.
|M was a mischievous Marten,|
Who went to the Free Kindergarten;
When they asked him to plat
A gay-colored mat,
He tackled the job like a Spartan.
|N was a naughty Nylghau,|
Who wandered too near a buzz saw.
It cut off his toes,
And the shrieks that arose
Filled all of the neighbors with awe.
|O was an ossified Oyster,|
Who decided to enter a cloister.
He could not return,
So continued to yearn
For his home in the sea, which was moister.
|P was a poor old Poll Parrot,|
Who had nothing to eat but a carrot,
And nothing to wear
But a wig of red hair,
And nowhere to live but a garret.
|Q was a querulous Quab|
Who at every trifle would sob;
He said, "I detest
To wear a plaid vest,
And I hate to eat corn from the cob!"
|R was a rollicking Ram,|
Attired in an old pillow sham.
When asked if he'd call
At the masquerade ball,
He said, "I'll go just as I am."
|S was a shy Salamander,|
Who slept on a sunny veranda.
She calmly reposed,
But, alas! while she dozed
They caught her and killed her and canned her.
|T was a tidy young Tapir,|
Who went out to bring in the paper;
And when he came back
He made no muddy track,
For he wiped his feet clean on the scraper.
|U was a young Unicorn,|
The bravest that ever was born.
They bought him a boat
And they set him afloat,
And straightway he sailed for Cape Horn.
|V was a vigorous Vulture,|
Who taught animals physical culture;
When a pupil dropped dead,
The kind teacher said,
"You needn't consider sepulture."
|W was a wild Worm,|
All day he did nothing but squirm.
They sent him to school,
But he broke every rule,
And left at the end of the term.
|X was a Xiphias brave,|
Who lived on the crest of the wave,
To each fish he would say,
"Good day, sir, good day!"
And then a polite bow he gave.
|Y was a young Yellowhammer,|
Who raised a ridiculous clamor;
And he chattered until
An owl said, "Keep still!
I'm trying to study my grammar."
|Z was a zealous old Zibet,|
Toboggans he tried to prohibit.
If any one tried
To take a sly slide,
He ordered him hanged on a gibbet.