Who was the idiot to bring in That senseless superstition, That ever should the best man win In any competition?
It fails the moment it’s applied. Just put it to the test, man! The bridegroom always wins the bride, And never is the best man!
THE SPINSTER'S JEST
Confidential friend (to elderly spinster): "So, my dear, you've given up advocating women’s rights?"
Elderly spinster: "Yes; I'm now going in for one of women's lefts."
Friend: "Women's lefts! What's that?"
Spinster: "Widower, my dear."
WANTED THE OTHERS
A woman went to market one morning to buy some geese and found five hanging outside the shop. "I am a boarding-house keeper," she remarked, with a smile. "Will you pick out for me the three of those geese that are toughest?"
The man laughed knowingly and obeyed. "Thank you," said the woman briskly. "Now I’ll take the other two."
The Turkey: "No, sir; nothing like that in our family."
It’s great to be American. Always has been. Enjoy!