This priceless parody of the Rubaiyat is extraordinary for both its clever verses and its charming illustrations.



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The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten
by Oliver Herford
1904

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Wake! For the Golden Cat has put to flight
The Mouse of Darkness with his Paw of Light:
Which means, in Plain and simple every-day
Unoriental Speech---The Dawn is bright.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

WAKE! For the Sun who scatter’d into flight
The Stars before him from the Field of Night,
Drives Night along with them from Heav’n, and strikes
The Sultan’s Turret with a Shaft of Light.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

They say the Early Bird the Worm shall taste.
Then rise, O Kitten! Wherefore, sleeping, waste
The fruits of Virtue? Quick! the Early Bird
Will soon be on the flutter---O make haste!

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

One Moment in Annihilation’s Waste,
One Moment, of the Well of Life to taste---
The Stars are setting, and the Caravan
Starts for the dawn of Nothing---Oh, make haste!

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

The Early Bird has gone, and with him ta’en
The Early Worm---Alas! the Moral’s plain,
O Senseless Worm! Thus, thus we are repaid
For Early Rising---I shall doze again.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Then said another---“Surely not in vain
My substance from the common Earth was ta’en
That He who subtly wrought me into Shape
Should stamp me back to common Earth again.”

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

The Mouse makes merry ‘mid the Larder Shelves,
The Bird for Dinner in the Garden delves.
I often wonder what the creatures eat
One half so toothsome as they are Themselves.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

And much as Wine has play’d the Infidel,
And robb’d me of my Robe of Honour---Well,
I wonder often what the Vintners buy
One half so precious as the stuff they sell.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

And that Inverted Bowl of Skyblue Delf
That helpless lies upon the Pantry Shelf---
Lift not your eyes to It for help, for It
Is quite as empty as you are yourself.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

And that inverted Bowl they call the Sky,
Whereunder crawling coop’d we live and die,
Lift not your hand to It for help---for It
As impotently moves as you or I.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

The Ball no question makes of Ayes or Noes,
But right or left, as strikes the Kitten, goes;
Yet why, altho’ I toss it far Afield,
It still returneth---Goodness only knows!

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

The Ball no question makes of Ayes and Noes,
But Here or There as strikes the Player goes;
And He that toss’d you down into the Field,
He knows about it all---HE knows---HE knows!

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

A Secret Presence that my likeness feigns,
And yet, quicksilver-like, eludes my pains---
In vain I look for Him behind the glass;
He is not there, and yet He still remains.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Whose secret Presence through Creation’s veins
Running Quicksilver- like eludes your pains;
Taking all shapes from Mah to Mahi and
They change and perish all---but He remains;

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

What out of airy Nothing to invoke
A senseless Something to resist the stroke
Of unpermitted Paw---upon the pain
Of Everlasting Penalties---if broke.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

What out of senseless Nothing to provoke
A conscious Something to resent the yoke
Of unpermitted Pleasure, under pain
Of Everlasting Penalties, if broke!

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

I sometimes think the Pussy-Willows grey
Are Angel Kittens who have lost their way,
And every Bulrush on the river bank
A Cat-Tail from some lovely Cat astray.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

I sometimes think that never blows so red
The Rose as where some buried Caesar bled;
That every Hyacinth the Garden wears
Dropt in its Lap from some once lovely Head.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Sometimes I think perchance that Allah may,
When he created Cats, have thrown away
The Tails He marred in making, and they grew
To Cat-Tails and to Pussy-Willows grey.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

"Why," said another, "Some there are who tell
Of one who threatens he will toss to Hell
The luckless Pots he marr'd in making---Pish!
He's a Good Fellow, and 't will all be well."

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

And lately, when I was not feeling fit,
Bereft alike of Piety and Wit,
There came in Angel Shape and offered me
A fragrant Plant and bid me taste of it.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

And lately, by the Tavern Door agape,
Came stealing through the Dusk an Angel Shape,
Bearing a vessel on his Shoulder; and
He bid me taste of it; and ‘twas---the Grape!

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

‘Twas that reviving Herb, that Spicy Weed,
The Cat-Nip. Tho’s ‘tis good in time of need,
Ah, feed upon it lightly, for who knows
To what unlovely antics it may lead.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

And this reviving Herb whose tender Green
Fledges the River-Lip on which we lean---
Ah, lean upon it lightly! For who knows
From what once lovely Lip it springs unseen!

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Strange---is it not?---that of the numbers who
Before me passed this Door of Darkness thro’,
Not one returns thro’ it again, altho’
Ofttimes I’ve waited for an hour or two.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Strange, is it not? That of the myriads who
Before us pass’d the door of Darkness through,
Not one returns to tell us of the Road,
Which to discover me must travel too.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

‘Tis but a Tent where takes his one Night’s Rest
A Rodent to the Realms of Death address’d
When Cook, arising, looks for him and then---
Baits, and prepares it for another Guest.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

‘Tis but a Tent where takes his one day’s rest
A Sultan to the realm of Death addrest;
The Sultan rises, and the dark Ferrash
Strikes, and prepares it for another Guest.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

They say the Lion and the Lizard Keep
The Courts where Jamshyd gloried and drank deep.
The Lion is my cousin; I don’t know
Who Jamshyd is---nor shall it break my sleep.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

They say the Lion and the Lizard keep
The Courts where Jamshyd gloried and drank deep:
And Bahram, that great hunter---the Wild Ass
Stamps o’er his Head, but cannot break his Sleep.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Impotent glimpses of the Game displayed
Upon the Counter---temptingly arrayed;
Hither and thither moved or checked or weighed,
And one by one back in the Ice Chest laid.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

But helpless Pieces of the Game He plays
Upon this Chequer-board of Nights and Days;
Hither and thither moves, and checks, and slays,
And one by one back in the Closet lays.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

What if the Sole could fling the Ice aside,
And with me to some Area’s haven glide---
Were’t not a Shame, were’t not a shame for it
In this Cold Prison crippled to abide?

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Why, if the Soul can fling the Dust aside,
And naked on the Air of Heaven ride,
Were’t not a Shame—were’t not a Shame for him
In this clay carcass crippled to abide?

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Some for the Glories of the Sole, and Some
Mew for the proper Bowl of Milk to come.
Ah, take the fish and let your Credit go,
And plead the rumble of an empty Tum.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Some for the Glories of This World; and some
Sigh for the Prophet’s Paradise to come;
Ah, take the Cash, and let the Credit go,
Nor heed the rumble of a distant Drum!

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

One thing is certain: tho’ this Stolen Bite
Should be my last and Wrath consume me quite,
One taste of It within the Area caught
Better than at the Table lost outright.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

And this I know: whether the one True Light
Kindle to Love, or Wrath-consume me quite,
One flash of It within the Tavern caught
Better than in the Temple lost outright.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Indeed, indeed Repentance oft before
I swore, but was I hungry when I swore?
And then and then came Cook---with Hose in hand---
And drowned my glory in a sorry pour.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Indeed, indeed, Repentance oft before
I swore---but was I sober when I swore?
And then and then came Spring, and Rose-in-hand
My thread-bare Penitence apieces tore.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

What without asking hither harried whence,
And without asking whither harried hence---
O, many a taste of that forbidden Sole
Must down the memory of that Insolence.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

What, without asking, hither hurried Whence?
And, without asking, Whither hurried hence!
Oh, many a Cup of this forbidden Wine
Must drown the memory of that insolence!

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Heaven, but the vision of a flowing Bowl;
And Hell, the sizzle of a frying Sole
Heard in the hungry Darkness where Myself,
So rudely cast, must impotently roll.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Heav'n but the Vision of fulfill'd Desire,
And Hell the Shadow from a Soul on fire
Cast on the Darkness into which Ourselves,
So late emerg'd from, shall so soon expire.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

The Vine has a tough fibre which about
While clings my Being;---let the Canine flout
Till his Bass Voice be pitched to such loud key
It shall unlock the door I mew without.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

The Vine has struck a fibre: which about
If clings my Being---let the Dervish flout;
Of my Base metal may be filed a Key,
That shall unlock the Door he howls without.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Up from the Basement to the Seventh flat
I rose, and on the Crown of fashion sat,
And many a Ball unraveled by the way---
But not the Master’s angry Bawl of “Scat!”

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Up from the Earth’s Center through the Seventh Gate
I rose, and on the Throne of Saturn sate,
And many a Knot unravel’d by the Road;
But not the Master-knot of Human fate.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Then to the Well of Wisdom I---and lo!
With my own Paw I wrought to make it flow,
And This was all the Harvest that I reaped:
We come like Kittens and like Cats we go.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

With them the Seed of Wisdom did I sow,
And with mine own hand wrought to make it grow;
And this was all the Harvest that I reap’d---
“I came like Water, and like Wind I go.”

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Why be this Ink the fount of Wit?---who dare
Blaspheme the glistening Pen-drink as a snare?
A Blessing?---I should spread it, should I not?
And if a Curse---why, then upset it!---there!

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Why, be this Juice the growth of God, who dare
Blaspheme the twisted tendril as a Snare?
A Blessing, we should use it, should we not?
And if a Curse---why then, Who set it there?

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

A moment’s Halt, a momentary Taste
Of Bitter, and amid the Trickling Waste
I wrought strange shapes from Mah to Mahi, yet
I know not what I wrote, nor why they chased.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

A Moment’s Halt---a momentary taste
Of Being from the Well amid the Waste---
And Lo!---the phantom Caravan has reach’d
The NOTHING it set out from---Oh, make haste!

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Now I beyond the Pale am safely Past.
O, but the long, long time their Rage shall last,
Which, tho’ they call to supper, I shall heed
As a Stone Cat should heed a Pebble cast.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

When You and I behind the Veil are past,
Oh, but the long, long while the World shall last,
Which of our Coming and Departure heeds
As the Sea’s self should heed a pebble-cast.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

And that perverted Soul beneath the Sky
They call the Dog---Heed not his angry cry;
Not all his Threats can make me budge one bit,
Nor all his Empty Bluster terrify.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

And that inverted Bowl they call the Sky,
Whereunder crawling coop’d we live and die,
Lift not your hands to It for help---for it
As impotently moves as you or I.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

They are no other than a moving Show
Of whirling Shadow Shapes that come and go
Me-ward thro’ Moon illumined Darkness hurled,
In midnight, by the Lodgers of the Row.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

We are no other than a moving row
Of Magic Shadow-shapes that come and go
Round with the Sun-illumin’d Lantern held
In Midnight by the Master of the Show;

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Myself when young did eagerly frequent
The Backyard fence and heard great Argument
About it, and About, yet evermore
Came out with fewer fur than in I went.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Myself when young did eagerly frequent
Doctor and Saint, and heard great argument
About it and about: but evermore
Came out by the same door where in I went.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Ah, me! If you and I could but conspire
To grasp this Sorry Scheme of things entire,
Would we not shatter it to bits, and then
Enfold it nearer to our Heart’s Desire?

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Ah Love! Could you and I with Him conspire
To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire,
Would not we shatter it to bits---and then
Re-mold it nearer to the Heart’s Desire!

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

Tho’ Two and Two make four by rule of line,
Or they make Twenty-two by Logic fine,
Of all the figures one may fathom, I
Shall ne’er be floored by anything but Nine.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

For “Is” and “Is-not” though with Rule and Line
And “UP-AND-DOWN” by Logic I define,
Of all that one should care to fathom, I
Was never deep in anything but---Wine.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

And fear not lest Existence shut the Door
On You and Me, to open it no more.
The Cream of Life from out your Bowl shall pour
Nine times---ere it lie broken on the floor.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

And fear not lest Existence closing your
Account, and mine, should know the like no more;
The Eternal Saki from that Bowl has pour’d
Millions of Bubbles like us, and will pour.

The Rubaiyat of A Persian Kitten

So, if the fish you Steal---the Cream you drink---
Ends in what all begins and ends in, Think,
Unless the Stern Recorder points to Nine,
Tho’ They would drown you---still you shall not sink.

Quatrain from original Rubaiyat

Would but some winged-Angel ere too late
Arrest the yet unfolded Roll of Fate,
And make the stern Recorder otherwise
Enregister, or quite obliterate!

The End




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