| For these verses laughter is the point. It is not social commentary. It is not a moral lesson. It is simply an example of the joy of word-play. |
The Rhyme of the Chivalrous Shark by Wallace Irwin
Most chivalrous fish of the ocean, To ladies forbearing and mild, Though his record be dark, is the man-eating Shark Who will eat neither woman nor child.
He dines upon seamen and skippers, And tourists his hunger assuage, And a fresh cabin boy will inspire him with joy If he’s past the maturity age.
A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher, He’ll gobble one any fine day, But the ladies, God bless ‘em, he’ll only address ‘em Politely and go on his way.
I can readily cite you an instance Where a lovely young lady of Breem, Who was tender and sweet and delicious to eat, Fell into the bay with a scream.
She struggled and flounced in the water And signaled in vain for her bark And she’d surely been drowned if she hadn’t been Found By a chivalrous man-eating shark.
He bowed in a manner most polished, Thus soothing her impulses wild; “Don’t be frightened,” he said, “I’ve been properly Bred And will eat neither woman nor child.”
Then he proffered his fin and she took it--- Such a gallantry none can dispute--- While the passengers cheered as the vessel they Neared, And a broadside was fired in salute.
And they soon stood alongside the vessel, When a life-saving dinghy was lowered With the pick of the crew, and her relatives, too, And the mate and the skipper aboard.
So they took her aboard in a jiffy, And the shark stood attention the while, Then he raised on his flipper and ate up the Skipper And went on his way with a smile.
And this shows that the prince of the ocean, To ladies forbearing and mild, Though his record be dark, is the man-eating Shark Who will eat neither woman nor child.
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