Tinkle, tinkle, bit of ice! Jiminy, but you sound nice, As you clink and clink and fade In a glass of lemonade!
IT JUST BEATS ALL!
Opening of the Bugville county fair.
Advice With A String To It
Two young men, of short acquaintance, were talking together when George, the older of the two, became suddenly very confidential.
"I am much bothered," he said. "I can marry a wealthy widow whom I don’t love or a poor girl that I do love intensely. What shall I do?"
"Listen to you heart," advised his companion, "and marry the one you love."
"You are right, my friend. I shall marry the girl."
"Then can you give me the widow’s address?"
A POPULAR PROPOSITION
"Do you believe in a tax on bachelors?"
"Yes, indeed! Which one shall we attack first?"
We read the advertisements, Consulted railroad maps, And ate our hasty lunches With guide-books in our laps. We asked the price of tickets By steamer or by rail, To half a hundred places Beyond the reach of mail.
We argued on the merits Of cottage or hotel, And quarreled over seaside And spa and mountain dell; And since we could not settle Just where we wished to roam, The same as every summer Behold! We stayed at home.
It’s great to be American. Always has been. Enjoy!