Dunne wrote silly witty sayings and life quotes. He understood reality, folly and their intersection.

16 Quotes From
Finley Peter Dunne

Finley Peter Dunne

  • A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

  • A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

  • A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

  • Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

  • Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

  • Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

  • It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.

  • Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

  • One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

  • The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

  • The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

  • The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual.

  • There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.

  • There are no friends at cards or world politics.

  • Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

  • Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it.

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